The Beginning of my Journey

dedicateddieter — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:07:52 +0000

I’ve always had issues with my weight. I was never the small, skinny one in my family or group of friends. I was never extremely overweight, but I was always the bigger boned girl. This can be an extremely rough thing when your mom is 120 lbs soaking wet and wears a 0 or 2, and your younger sister is a 4 or 6. At the moment, I’m a size 12ish. I have a problem with this. Not that its a bad thing to be a size 12, that’s not what I’m saying at all. Its just not very satisfying to me. In January of 2009, I was able to wear a pair of size 6 jeans. I wore them twice. This upsets me because I paid $70 for said jeans. The ability to wear those jeans came widely from the fact that at the time, I was dating a guy in the military. He had just left to go back to Iraq, so my nerves and worrying made it almost imposssible to eat much. I have since ditched the guy (he ended up being a lying, cheating douche bag). But things with my weight have not gotten better. So, here is how I came to the decision to begin this long and sometimes hard journey to being a healthier, smaller me.

A few weeks ago, I went on vacation with my family and neighbors. This vacation was a trip to Bull Shoals Lake. This meant that I would be spending most of my time in a swimsuit. So, for the week, I donned my one piece bathing suit, while my skinny neighbor and her friend, both wore cute little bikinis. I wanted to wear a cute little bikini, but my body is in no shape at all to do that. So, after returning and talking to my mom, I decided that I needed to make a change, and I needed to be accountable to someone other than myself. So, last Monday, I joined Weight Watchers. I had started eating healthier before joining and had managed to lose a few pounds before joining. I was not happy when I stepped on the scale and it read 196.4. I knew I had lost some weight, but I never thought I would actually hit the 200 mark. I guess I had been in denial on how bad things had gotten. I’m very excited to be working towards my goal now. 70 pounds seems like such a huge number, but when you break it down, its really not so bad. I’m almost halfway to my first goal of 10.

I’m hoping that the weight loss helps with my exercise. At the moment, I’ve been told not to run by my doctor. This is stemming from a severe ankle injury in February, but I’m thinking that a big part of the reason that is still hurts so much to run is the extra weight that I’m carrying around. It can be really hard to get a good workout in when you can’t just lace up your running shoes and go.

So far, things are going in the right direction. I’ve been working really hard to eat the right things, but it can be really hard. I’ve cut out school meals. When our cook comes around for the lunch count, I don’t include myself anymore. I wait til I get home to eat my lunch. Cutting out the sweets can be really tough. I watch a lot of cake decorating shows and after watching Fabulous Cakes this morning, all I wanted to do was get in the car, drive to Whipt Cream, and get a cupcake. I however, went to the pantry and had a rice cake instead. I’m not saying that I’ve completely cut myself off from sweet treats such as cupcakes, cookies, and ice cream, I just choose when is a good time to indulge in them. I know that tomorrow, I will have a small piece of cookie cake for a child in my class’s birthday. Because of this, a cupcake today is absolutely out of the question. I also have to think, is this cupcake really worth the calories? Probably not.

So, now its time to go find something to eat for lunch, something that is good and healthy. That shouldn’t be that hard. Hopefully this blog will help others who are struggling with weight issues and help them to get a hold of it now.

Dedicateddieter's Blog

The Beginning of my Journey